Knowing Your Opposition for Better Conflict Resolution
General conflict resolution strategies are fine for theory and foundational knowledge but when you get into real world conflicts, these are inadequate to ensure maximum benefit efficiency to you. In other words, to get your way, you need to know who you are arguing with.
conflict resolution
By getting to know your opposition in negotiation or argument, you can more reach a resolution that is more favorable to you. So what do you need to know about the other party? How do you find out about it?
First, find out about the other parties interests. What drives them? How does it pertain to your conflict?
Another area to hit on is their personality and background. What are their fundamental beliefs? What kind of person are they deep down? Do they have children? What is their paradigm – both present and past? What is happening in their life?
A researched opponent is much easier to resolve conflict against than someone that is completely foreign to you that you go in and apply textbook negotiation tips against.
I have found that people come in all types of thinking on even what would seem to be the most common of grounds. Examples: 1) While I see a park, another person might not even notice it. 2) I think dogs are man’s best friend, you think they are emotionless mangy muts. 3) I think I’m watching the news, you think you’re being brainwashed.
The point is you never know what someone’s perception is until you ask about it. Your assumption may indeed be right, but don’t assume. Instead, inquire.
Example: We have a rent dispute. You want $100 in late fees for paying 2 days late. I don’t want to pay the late fee because I had to borrow money from a high interest payday loan store just to make that payment.
Instead of bickering over the $100, find out the landlord’s perception of you. He may think you’re just blowing him off because you think you’re some big shot that has a better car than him. If you tell him the humbling truth, he may empathize with you.
This is just an example of this particular conflict resolution strategy but you can see how many more infinite possibilities there are.
How do you get this information on the other party?
You can always ask directly for some information. However, this tact isn’t good for all info. If you start asking for tangential information, you’ll raise the other person’s guard. Instead, you can ask around. In our example, you might want to ask other tenants who’ve dealt with the landlord. You may want to ask people that work for the apartment. You may want to just watch the person and see how he interacts with others.
You’re trying to find out what loosens his positioning. You’re trying to find out if he’s willing to make a deal, if he’s fair, if he’s reasonable, etc.
Some people will not admit they’re wrong. Then you tell them you were wrong and then all of a sudden they can’t apologize and say how wrong they were fast enough. Is your landlord one of these people?
Know the person and you’ll be able to leverage the info to your advantage.